Day 143 – He will turn our Mourning into DANCING!
Today’s Reading: Psalm 30 – 34
“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness.” Psalm 30:11.
Mourning is what occurs after we lose something or someone we hold dear.
It can take days, months, or years to fully mourn the loss and feel healing from the brokenness.
After my son Hayden passed away, many told me that the mourning process was be different for everyone, but everyone must go through it. If you don’t go through it in the beginning and instead suppress it, the process will happen later on and can be even worse. So, I decided it was going to be a no holds bar type of process for me, I was all in and wanted God to heal every inch of my body. I cried at odd times, I went silent, I stopped looking to the future and focused on making it through the day.
Once a year passed my JOY was returning, the mourning was becoming light. Laughter was reignited, plans for the present and the future were ignited; I thought I was complete. However, there was one thing I hadn’t noticed that I lost, and until I found it, I didn’t even no where it was….my voice.
My voice, is what makes me dance, it’s who God created me to be – a visionary and someone who implements the vision, standing firm on my convictions. Looking back over that time, I felt different. It wasn’t because I couldn’t dream, it was on the back-burner; it wasn’t because I didn’t have any joy, it was just tucked away. My personality had changed.
I love really getting to know who I am, the ins and outs of how God created me, and 2 years before my loss I was certified in a specific personality test called DISC. When I first took the test, I was High “I” (my heart) but following in a close 2nd was “D” (my voice). 6 months after Hayden passed I took it again and I was still High “I” but in close 2nd was “S” (a listener). I thought, “God must have changed my personality,” but in reality, My mourning process changed me.
After 7 years, God is still slowly turning my mourning into Dancing and Returning my voice of His Truth. I’m still relearning, reviving, and rediscovering who I am. It’s like unearthing a hidden treasure that got buried by death. Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe in Mourning your loss, but I believe that God can also heal the mourning and turn it into dancing.
Running 2 Fly 