This is a hard one.

Damage not dealt with can Cause Years of Destruction.

But Jonadab, son of Shemeah, David’s brother, said, “My lord should not think that they killed all the princes; only Amnon is dead. This has been Absalom’s express intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar.”

2 Samuel 13:32

Every time I read this passage I cringe a little bit. Within me there is a familiar, realized hurt for Tamar, a heart break for the family, an understanding for the protective brother, and a hatred for the sin that caused all the damage.

Poor Tamar, she was used and abused, then told to ignore the whole thing. Her brother Absalom, however, held onto his hatred for Amnon. King David went on his way, thinking everything was worked out and his family was fine. But they weren’t fine.

It’s never fine when we don’t deal with the Big Problem.

“And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.” 2 Samuel 13:22

Tamar’s disgrace never allowed her to experience marriage, children, or a family of her own. She probably dealt with shame and depression the rest of her life. Amnon wasn’t punished, he wasn’t forced to rectify the situation. He just moved on with his life. Absalom lived in anger, which festered, until one day he took his anger into his hands. He killed his brother, Amnon, ran in fear of his father, and the family suffered even more.

I get it! I hid my hurts for years from the world. This caused me to allow the hurts to make harmful choices that hurt me even more. There was division, there was strain, but thankfully there was Still GOD.

After my last hurt, I went on my worst spiral, and I happened to be in my first year of college. In a jeep with slippery tires on a rainy night, I drove down the road crying out to God to let my tires slide and let me fly to high to Heaven to be with Him.

But you know God, He had already called my Heart to Him, and I woke up the next morning ready to seek His call. Since that time, God has done an internal healing which drastically healed and changed my external circumstances, propelling fully into my calling.

God continues to show me all He’s been working out since the beginning, since the hurt, and truly I don’t feel that hatred in my heart anymore and the flashbacks and spirals have ended. — But there is still hurt. Hurt in the family, problems still not healed that I wish were. Yet, through my own healing, I know and trust healing can still come through Jesus alone.

Don’t let the hurts of your past keep your heart broken. Talk about them. Talk to Jesus if you don’t have someone or somewhere you can go. Healing comes when you release the hurt to God with communication, so He can fill you with His Love and Peace. One day, you will wake up and realize all those past hurts and heartache are gone.